You will have heard it said that in order to grow, you need to push beyond your comfort zone. But how the heck do you do that? Read on to learn how.
What is the comfort zone?
The term “comfort zone” was first used by management consultant and author Judith Bardwick in her book Danger in the Comfort Zone in 1991. She explains: “The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.”
In the comfort zone, you know the rules for success, how to behave, what to believe, and how it feels… comfortable! It’s easy, low stress, predictable and certain.
The problem with the comfort zone is that there is little growth. So if you want to live an interesting, fulfilling, abundant or extraordinary life, you will need to move beyond your comfort zone.
Beyond The Comfort Zone
As we push ourselves beyond the comfort zone boundaries, we start to feel… dis-comfort. It’s normal and expected to experience anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and stress. These emotions may trigger negative thinking, self-sabotage, and avoidant behavior.
The Anxiety Sweet Spot: Optimal Anxiety
In neurological terms, anxiety (which is on the fear spectrum of emotions) means that your brain has been “aroused” or woken up. A little anxiety wakes up your nervous system and prepares it for action. Too much anxiety, fear, and uncertainty and your nervous system becomes hyper-aroused and stressed, and your performance plummets. There is an “anxiety sweet spot,” a psychological state where your anxiety causes your nervous system to be alert and perform optimally; psychologists call this “optimal anxiety.”
Pushing Through Fear to The Growth Zone
So now you’ve learned that you are likely to experience negative emotions beyond the comfort zone like anxiety, uncertainty, fear, or stress; how do you cope with them when they arise?
First, look out for negative emotions and accompanying self-sabotage or negative thinking. Negative emotions exist to signal your nervous system, “something is wrong… pay attention”. Acknowledge what you’re experiencing, say it aloud, or write it down. “I am feeling afraid,” “I am stressed”, “I am self-sabotaging”, “I am thinking negatively,” and so on.
Be kind to yourself; it’s normal to feel this way. Your nervous system is just trying to protect you from harm. Shift your energy with a 2-minute meditation, some Wim Hof breathing, or dance to your favorite song.
Think about what you need to do. Do you need to solve a problem or acquire new skills? Explore why you want to make a change, aka tap into a sense of purpose. Dream and envision the life you want to be living! Then, get creative. What are all of the options you have, even the crazy ones!
Then, set a goal and plan how you will achieve it. Take action ASAP. Your life is one big, exciting experiment: try new things, and if they don’t work out, try something else. If something works, stop and celebrate for a moment: this reinforces the behavior that works for you.
Optional Homework Exercise: Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Your Growth Zone
If you are planning a change in your life, work through these steps:
- What is the change I want to make?
- Why?
- How comfortable am I making this change 0-10 (10 = extremely comfortable)?
- What feelings come up? How strong are they (0-10)?
- Do these feelings trigger stress? Am I able to push through this stress?
- Which of my beliefs will be challenged when I make this change?
- What new beliefs do I need?
- What are the rules for success with this change?
- Which habits or behaviors do I need to keep and which do I need to change?”
- Make a plan with small achievable steps or milestones.
- Take action quickly and celebrate your success.
Life is short, my friend, and if you want to live your best life, you will need to push beyond your comfort zone. It will be challenging but believe me; it will be worth it.
