Many people have a vision for the life they want to be living, but sadly very few people ever get to live even close to the dream life they envision. Why? Something stops them.
What might stop you from achieving your dreams and goals?
There are many reasons why a person might not achieve their dreams and goals.
First, there are some things that are completely out of your control. Examples include: the weather, world politics and the past. Try as you might you cannot change these.
Next, there are things where you have a small amount of control. Examples include politics in your country (you can vote or run for office), the environment (you can do things like recycling, picking up trash, reducing carbon emissions, joining an environmental group). Other people fall into this category: you can influence others but you cannot control their thoughts or behavior.
Then there are the things where you have significant control. Your health and your career are good examples. You can eat healthy food, exercise regularly, sleep well, and so on and you will reduce your chances of getting sick – 2020-21 have been a good reminder of the fact that our health is not completely in our control. You can work hard, get a good education, apply for the right jobs, form good relationships with your colleagues, and yet you might still get let go from your job.
Sometimes there are really good practical reasons why you might not be able to achieve your goals fully. If your dreams are important to you, are you just going to give up and admit defeat? If the answer is NO, try this… Acknowledge and accept them and then mitigate for them: That is make a plan to reduce their impact.
Now, most people when I ask “what is stopping you from achieving their goals” reply with some version of “it’s me!”.
Here are some common themes:
- Lack of support
- They will do more for others than they will for themselves: their own needs drop to the bottom of the to-do-list
- They get stuck and don’t know how to move forward
- Complacency… “life’s not that bad, it seems like a lot of effort to get to my goals”
- The struggle to stay motivated and energetic
- Their goals are vague
- They have a million excuses… too busy, too poor, too rich, too old, too young, not clever enough, I have ADHD, not enough resources etc.
- No one is holding them accountable
- They don’t have a plan, so life gets in the way
- They are inefficient
- Their brain is unhealthy, so they lack energy, focus, and drive
- No one else believes in their dream and this makes them doubt themselves
- They don’t believe that it’s possible
- They waste a ton of time doing low-quality tasks like scrolling through social media (I’m guilty too at times!), watching TV or cat videos, flicking through magazines, doing tasks that other people should be doing.
- And so on…
If you have dreams or goals that you have a low level of motivation to achieve them, they are really not that important, don’t change a thing. However, if your dreams and goals are actually meaningful and important to you and something is getting in the way then perhaps it is time to do things differently.
Einstein famously said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
So ask yourself – “what’s stopping me” – if the answer is mainly “it’s me” then I have an important message for you. You do not need to do it alone. Ask a wise supportive friend to help you or find a coach or mentor who is one step ahead of you who can be your guide and help you to find a way that works for you, to overcome all those things that are stopping you.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt
