When you look in the mirror who do you see?
“In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.” – Erik Erikson
I had Cov1d in October-November last year. I had one night where I was scared I might not wake up in the morning because my oxygen levels were low and I was gasping for breath. I am grateful to have made a complete recovery and gained some wisdom from that awful experience. The weirdest symptom I had (for over a month) was a feeling of dissociation from myself. It’s a little hard to explain but I didn’t feel like myself and when I looked in the mirror I felt it was not me looking back. Who was this pale, flat, sad-looking woman staring back at me, with no spark in her eyes? So odd and unsettling I can tell you. I’ve pondered why it upset me so much and I think part of it was about identity. It was not about rigid ego, it was about my essence… who I am in my soul.
“The strongest force in the universe is a human being living consistently with his or her identity” – Tony Robbins
So I have a question for you: “who are you?”
If you struggle to answer this, you are not alone. From a neuroscience perspective, your identity is to do with the wiring in your brain. From an NLP (neurolinguistic programming) perspective, your identity is determined by your model of the world.
“Model of the World” refers to the unique way in which an individual sees, interprets, and processes the world. It is highly complex and influenced by things like our genes, experiences in utero, our birth, life experiences, beliefs, traumas, personality, emotional patterns, career path, relationships, values systems, passions, health problems… and so on. Countless things make up your model of the world and it changes over time, especially with every major experience or life event. For example when I was an emergency room physician, I was a single woman with no kids, what I valued, what brought me joy, what made me feel proud, what kept me awake at night was totally different to 5 years later when I became a mother.
Your model of the world determines what will make you happy, what will make you proud, fulfilled, grateful, accomplished, energized, passionate, motivated and what will bring you peace. And it is constantly changing and evolving.
When I coach my clients, I take them on a journey of self-discovery to learn more about their model of the world and the sense of identity it has created. This process takes time. We reflect on things like what they love, what they hate, what they are proud of, what brings them peace, happiness, fulfillment, who they admire, what rules they have and many other questions.
Knowing who you are, being comfortable and familiar with your sense of identity, is essential before determining your next steps in life… if you want to live life intentionally.
My belief, reinforced by my Cov1d experience is that
“Life is short, life is precious, live life intentionally”.
Have a wonderful week and if I can be of any support, please get in touch.
