It can be good to sit with the suffering for a short time. To listen to your emotions and process what’s happened. But sustained suffering is harmful to you… your body, mind and spirit, and to those around you. It helps no-one.
When my kids were young, they had a series of health issues that left me exhausted, depleted, feeling like a cursed victim, chronically stressed and suffering BIG TIME! A book changed my life (maybe even saved my life)… that book was the Art of Happiness (Dalai Lama and Harrold Cutter). It’s a beautiful book. There was a story that helped me break the cycle of suffering. A mother lost her only child and went to the Buddha to beg for her child to be returned. The Buddha asked that she bring mustard seeds from 3 people who had suffered no loss in life (this was 2500 years ago)… she travelled for months and could find no-one. It hit me in that moment: challenges, uncertainties and losses are inevitable in life, for everyone. Where we have the power is choosing how long we suffer.
So what can we do?
Here’s one strategy. The Magic Wand.
You may have heard me talk about my Magic Wand exercise. It goes like this… If you had a magic wand:
1. What would you want to have less of?
2. What would you want to feel less often?
3. What do you want to have more of?
4. What do you want to feel more often?
Out of those 4 answers, what’s the top priority, in this moment?
Next, brainstorm all of the things you can do to achieve this top priority: Practical things, mindset shifts, self-care, getting support etc.
Then, pick the easiest thing on the list and do it right away. Keep working through the list.
Sadly this technique is not a real magic wand, but it will give you control over your suffering and allow you to shift more quickly.
I wish you a healthy, happy, abundant week ahead.
