How to manage your emotions in times of crisis: 7 steps to stay sane
As I write this newsletter conflict rages in Ukraine and we are nervously emerging from a global pandemic lasting 2 years.
I have coached hundreds of people during a crisis and it was fascinating to work with people during the pandemic, a crisis that hit everyone at the same time. As you can imagine everyone reacted differently. Some people fell apart, most had a brief period of intense stress and overwhelm and then bounced back, others sailed through it with calm, clear-headed focus.
Your emotions are your nervous system’s response to your present moment experience. Your emotional state significantly impacts your quality of life and how you behave. It impacts your thoughts and your behavior, and your thoughts and behavior impact your emotions. It affects your physical health, emotional health, relationships, and performance, in everything you do. So how can you manage your emotions when in times of crisis?
- Pay attention to how you feel. Stop and notice. Name the feeling.
- Give yourself some empathy for feeling this way. It’s OK to have negative emotions, just as it is OK to have positive and neutral ones. You are a human being and sometimes life is hard.
- Ask: Do I want to feel this way? Does feeling this way serve me? Does it help me or hurt me? If you do not want to feel this way go to step 4.
- Interrupt the emotional pattern. Do something to shift your state. Listen to some music, dance, go for a walk, watch something funny or motivational. Research shows that the healthiest thing to do is often mindfulness practice. Do a mini-mindfulness exercise to shift your focus. 2 minutes is the minimum needed, but the more “stressed” you are the longer you might need.
- Get curious about why you are feeling this way. It’s likely due to your thoughts, your beliefs, and the meaning you are giving to the current crisis. Are these thoughts true? How true?
- Ask: What can I personally control or impact in this situation?
Note: you can not control the past, the future, other people, politicians, the weather… and many other things. You can control what you focus on, what media you consume and how much, your behavior, and your thoughts (to a certain extent).
- What action will you take? Will it be a one-off action or a repeated behavior? How committed are you? With the current crisis, you might, for example, donate some money to a humanitarian non-profit, write to your local politician, join a prayer circle, send an email to support a friend you know is personally affected by the crisis. Reach out to a supportive friend, coach, or therapist if you are really struggling and need help processing what’s going on.
Continue to monitor your emotions. Staying in a negative emotional state by choice is like keeping your hand on a hot stove. You have more control than you know.
I hope you have a good week ahead. If you need support I am here to help.